5 Ways to Build Your Teen’s Self-Esteem

When my daughter’s depression deepened, one of the hardest things for her to grapple with was her self-esteem. She’d always been a creative, confident child, but suddenly, she couldn’t see her own worth. Watching her doubt herself was heartbreaking, and I knew I had to find ways to help her rebuild her confidence. It wasn’t an overnight process, but by focusing on consistent encouragement and celebrating her strengths, I started to see glimmers of her old self return.

One of the most impactful changes I made was being intentional about my words. Instead of offering generic praise like “Good job,” I began pointing out specific qualities I admired in her. After she completed a challenging school project, I didn’t just say, “You did great.” I told her, “I love how much effort and creativity you put into this—it shows how capable you are.” By focusing on her effort and unique abilities, I helped her see herself in a more positive light.

Another shift was encouraging her to explore new interests without the pressure of being perfect. She used to love drawing but had stopped because she felt her art wasn’t “good enough.” I reminded her that the process mattered more than the outcome. Gradually, she started sketching again, and it became a source of joy rather than self-criticism.

I also made a point to model self-compassion. When I made mistakes, I’d acknowledge them openly and show her how to handle them with grace. “I forgot to send that email, and I’m disappointed in myself,” I’d say. “But I’ll fix it now. Mistakes are part of learning.” This taught her that it’s okay to be imperfect and that her worth isn’t tied to always getting things right.

Rebuilding self-esteem takes time and patience, but it’s one of the most valuable gifts you can give your teen. By focusing on their strengths, encouraging their interests, and showing them how to be kind to themselves, you’re helping them develop a sense of confidence that will carry them through life’s challenges.