If I were to pick one Positive Discipline Tool as the most important, it would be this one. Now I know that being quarantined we may feel like we’re spending a ton of time with our kids, but there’s a difference between “have to” time, “casual time” and “special time”.
Special time is uninterrupted, distraction-free time with your kids (this means putting away phones). This time should be spent one-on-one individually with each child. I know this can be tough when you have several kids, I have four and I’m a single-mom, but it is so worth the time spent. I guarantee you the more time you spend having special time, the less time you will spend dealing with misbehavior. Also, this time should be spent doing what your child enjoys (yes, mom’s that means playing FortNite!) Lastly, this time should be scheduled, regular time. Put it on the calendar, make it a priority. When you’re children are crying for your attention when you’re busy working from home, remind them, “Honey, Mommy is working now, but we will have our special time right after lunch.” The important part is that children know exactly when they can count on time that has been set aside especially for them.
Teenagers might act like they don’t want to spend special time with you. At this age, friends are more important than family, but the older they become the more important family becomes. Currently, my almost 12 year old son, suddenly scoffs at spending time with me. He would rather play games and face-time his friends, but my 18 year old daughter authentically enjoys spending time with me. Even though, my son may no longer be into spending the 15 minutes a day we used to spend together, until very recently, I still make it a priority to encourage we spend 30 minutes per week doing something together that he enjoys. Spending this time together is critical to maintaining a sense of connection. This decreases their need to misbehave as a mistaken way to fine belonging and significance.
Try it and see the difference it makes in your family! Check out my Facebook live on this tool. If you have any questions about this tool please ask in my facebook group . Also, please post any challenges or successes you may be having with implementing this tool. We’re here to support you on the parenting journey!
Your Parenting Coach,