When my daughter first started showing signs of depression, I didn’t immediately realize what was happening. I chalked up her withdrawn behavior to teenage moodiness and assumed it would pass. But as time went on, it became clear that this wasn’t just a phase. As parents, we want to believe we’d recognize the signs if our teen was struggling, but depression often hides in plain sight, disguised as normal teenage ups and downs. Learning to notice the subtle signs can make a world of difference in getting our teens the support they need.
Teen depression doesn’t always look like what we expect. My daughter didn’t cry often, nor did she openly express sadness. Instead, her struggles revealed themselves in her lack of interest in things she once loved. Her art supplies gathered dust in the corner, and invitations to hang out with friends were consistently turned down. I later learned that this loss of interest is a common symptom of depression—a quiet withdrawal from the world that once felt exciting and full of possibilities.
Another sign I missed early on was her irritability. I expected sadness, not the short temper and outbursts that became part of our daily life. It was easy to interpret her frustration as defiance or disrespect, but those moments of anger were actually her way of expressing an overwhelming sense of helplessness she didn’t know how to put into words.
Physical symptoms also took me by surprise. Complaints of headaches, stomach aches, and fatigue became more frequent. I assumed these were excuses to skip school or avoid chores, but they were her body’s way of manifesting the emotional pain she was experiencing. Depression often shows itself in physical ways, especially in teens who might not have the vocabulary to describe their feelings.
If you’re noticing similar changes in your teen, don’t dismiss them as “normal” until you’ve explored them further. Trust your instincts and open a conversation with your teen, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Sometimes just asking, “Are you okay?” can be the first step toward understanding what they’re going through. Early recognition and intervention can pave the way for healing, and your support can be the anchor they need during these challenging times.
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